Introducing Spaghetti Scameti
Get Scameti’d…In Style
The first Spaghetti Scameti range, featuring the Pasta Ponzi (left) and the Blackmail Bolognese (right).
It all started when…
I dropped out of college at the age of 6 to pursue my dream of becoming a multi-billionaire CEO big bucks boss. I had the revelation that the major watch brands weren’t extorting the customer for every penny they were worth. So, I took up the mantle and decided to ‘change the world’. By using just about every dodgy sales tactic in the book, we’ve taken customer exploitation to the next level.
We now make millions from our unwitting customers and the best part is…I don’t even have to deliver the product! Truly revolutionary.
our products
If by accident you do receive one of our watches, good luck sending it back! We’ve made the returns process confusing, convoluted and in some cases outright impossible. I mean, why would we want to deal with customers? They’re just walking wallets, right?
By ‘cutting out the middlemen’ (lol that’s secretly us) and using the cheapest materials we can lay our mitts on, we can make way more profit. Therefore, all of our watches are proudly ‘handcrafted’ in Shenzhen (which we call ‘Italy’ or ‘Switzerland’ in our advertising, fingers crossed nobody notices).
OUR SOCIALS
From time to time, you might see a YouTube or Instagram ‘influencer’ who seems to be pushing our products like crazy. These guys are insanely easy to control. Just send them a free product or a couple of quid and they’ll shill this garbage as if their life depends on it!
One of these fools even went the whole hog and called us better than Rolex in a video LMFAO! We even chuckled in the office about that one. He must be on something.
Outside of that, all of the posts on our socials are ‘user-generated’ from narcissists who want recognition. We market this as being our ‘community’, when actually, it’s just free marketing, piggybacking off the inherent jealousy culture of social media. This means more money in my bank account!
OUR MISSION
We’re gonna pretend like it’s to ‘change the world’ or ‘shake up the watch industry’, when in reality I’m just here to make a quick buck. How much money is too much, you say? Well, I don’t believe in placing limits on your ambitions.
Helping customers? What are customers?
CHARLES PONZI - Spaghetti Scameti Founder, CEO, Revolutionist & Overlord
NOW WATCH OUR LAUNCH VIDEO
DISCLAIMER: Spaghetti Scameti is a parody brand and does not sell or deliver real products to real consumers...yet.
